It really hurts me to to talk or not talk to my mom and brother..?

Wow you're a really good sister (you remind me of my sister who does a lot for me)- he should be more appreciative of you and your husband. But please don't give up on him, he is still your brother. "The love you withhold, is the pain you carry life time after life time." Have you try communicating with him about the things you've discussed here?